Pastors Wives

As Christian women, (let me rephrase that)… As Godly women, we play an important role in the kingdom of heaven. As pastors wives, we might feel like our husband’s title overshadows our own calling. I often let that title “a pastor’s wife” overshadow the true calling God placed on my life. I have been a pastor’s wife going on ten wonderful years, and I am truly honored to get to call myself that. But, it is so easy for pastor wives to become more concerned with pleasing people, than the One who created us divinely in His image, who breathed life into our very lungs.

Not only do pastor wives struggle with knowing our true calling or identity, but so many women do too. As a godly woman, you may be asking yourself, “What is my part in this big picture God has for us?” I have often felt not worthy enough, not good enough, not smart enough, and undeserving to use my talents and abilities God has given me. Sister, if you are dealing with those same thoughts, or asking God if you are even capable of being used by Him, then I pray God opens your eyes to the deception and lies from the enemy himself. Hear me out, God wants to use you if you are willing!

God being perfect and holy, created man, and saw that he was incomplete without woman. Let me repeat, “Man is incomplete without the wonderful female species!!” (Try not to rub it in your husband’s face if you are married.)

“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Genesis 2:18

Partner and Teammate

God didn’t create us just to exist beside man, but to walk alongside him as a companion, to be a partner, or as I like to say, teammate.

From a pastor’s wife perspective, there have been times I felt James, my husband, could handle everything by himself when it came to people and the church. However, as his wife, God called me to be his helper and partner in ministry. I fulfill this role by encouraging my husband, praying for him, supporting him, and helping him shepherd a whole other family besides his own. I often stress to him that he cannot do this job alone! God knew Adam needed a companion. God isn’t saying that women are less than our male counterparts, but are of equal value.

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

Proverbs 31:10

Women hold so much value in God’s eyes and He wants to use us for His glory. We have such an influential role in this world. If we took the time, we could go back and look at Sara, Esther, Ruth, Mary, and many other women the Bible who felt unworthy, yet greatly influenced their husbands and others with positive kingdom results.

Women can be influential by bringing forth life as we discussed in this week’s podcast. There are many ways women can fulfill the role of life giver in our world. God created us and called us to bring forth actual life.

Bringing Forth Life

“In pain you shall bring forth children.”

Genesis 3:16

The pain part doesn’t sound like much fun, but thanks to the fall, it’s a consequence we bear. God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. So yes, we bring forth life by having babies, but I want to go further than that. I want us to see other ways God uses us to bring forth life in our world today. Women do not have to be married or have kids to bring forth life. We put forth life by speaking encouragement and truth to our sisters in Christ.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

God commands us to build one another up, and that’s not just for pastors’ wives. As a woman, I need encouragement. I bet you do too. Words of encouragement and affirmation in a godly sense does something inside of us that provides a healing to our spirits.

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Proverbs 16:24

We know from scripture that words are powerful and can be used to tear others down or give life. I pray that as sisters in Christ, we carefully use our words to lift one another up.

Investing In A Younger Generation

Another way God calls us to put forth life is by investing in the younger generation of women. In Titus 2, the older generation of women are called to train up the younger generation of women. When I think of “training” someone, I think of a lengthy commitment. To actually invest in someone, and practice something over and over. Not just a “one and done” type of thing. I am so thankful for the women, (not just one), but many godly women who took the time over the years to truly invest in my life to help make me the woman I am today. I pray I do the same thing and help make an impact in someone else’s life.

Sister, I hope you realize how much value you hold in our Father’s eyes and how worthy your calling is in our world today. Yes, we have different callings, but of equal value to the kingdom. God doesn’t need us by any means, but He chooses to use us! I encourage you to ask Him how you can be influential in our world today. As women, we put forth life in many ways, and I pray by doing so, we bring honor and glory to Jesus!

Written by Kirstyn Doughty, a Pastor’s Wife