The Absolutely Hard Discovery That Life Is Really Not All About Me
When I was a little girl, life was all about me.
I was an only child living at home. My siblings were all much older and already out of my parent’s house. The good part of this was I was the center of all their attention, even the siblings. There was no sibling rivalry. I was the baby princess. Not a bad life to have and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I remember going to the pediatrician and my doctor would ask how I was doing. My mother normally answered for me, “She is spoiled rotten.” My doctor always replied, “She’s not rotten. She’s just loved.” I was loved and I was spoiled too.
An all about me attitude wasn’t such a big deal as a little girl.
Then I grew up and began to see that everyone did not think of me as a baby princess. The “all about me” attitude brought me some disappointment as I discovered the hard reality that life was not all about me.
When I had children of my own, my “all about me” attitude was much easier to relinquish. My attitude shifted to it’s all about them. I passed on the tradition of my parents. I loved and spoiled my children. Honestly, I am passing on that tradition with my grandchildren as well.
The Reality
For a while life in a child’s life, life is all about them. As infants and small children there is a season that their needs and desires are the focus. Then as they grow up, they slowly learn the same hard discovery that I had to, that life really is not “all about me.”
That same realization is even more pronounced as we grow and mature in our spiritual journey following Jesus.
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God.
Philippians 2:3-6
Maybe I haven’t fully let go of a hope that life is at least to some degree about me because when I read Philippians 2:3-6, I was thankful that it didn’t tell me that I can’t look out for my own interests. Instead, based on the thoughts and actions of Jesus Philippians 2 reminds me to esteem the interest of others. Christ looked out for the interests of others. So as a Christ-follower, I should too.
An Others Mindset
I love that Philippians 2:6 showed Christ’s attitude that He did not consider it robbery.
It seems that Paul wrote knowing our tendency to think life centers around us and that esteeming the interests of others, we might feel like we had been robbed. We might feel like life is unfair. What makes us feel like someone is getting what belongs to us when we or someone else esteems them? I think it boils down to the fact that within all of us, there resides a degree of self-centeredness that must be stripped away, removed, purged, excavated.
Look how far Jesus went to put aside Himself and focused on our interests.
But made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and
coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death,
even the death of the cross.
Philippians 2:7-8
Jesus put Himself aside. He left the glory and splendor of heaven to come to broken people who needed what He offered. But even in His humility and humiliation Jesus experienced the great reward of joy and God exalting Him.
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,
who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2
Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven,
and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess
that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:9-11
The world we live in starkly contrasts God’s kingdom. In this world we are told reward comes when we serve ourselves, make ourselves happy, and make our own way. In God’s kingdom, setting our self aside and serving others is rewarded.
But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant.
And whoever exalts himself will be humbled,
and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
Matthew 23:11-12
When we put our all about me attitude aside and focus on the needs of others as an act of obedience and faith, God rewards us.
Love Others
In Philippians 2:2 the apostle Paul tells us to be like-minded and to have the same love as Christ. Jesus said, in John 13:34, A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another…
Living like minded with Christ means loving like Jesus. In Philippians 2:3 Paul tells us how to have Christ-like love saying, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
Esteeming others as better than ourselves is such a counterculture thought and an unnatural human action. To be like-minded and have that same love as Christ, means we need supernatural strength to do so.
The Bible says that this world in not our permanent home. Nevertheless, it is the world we live in today. When we esteem and lookout for the interests of others, we are a glimpse of God’s glory in this world and our love shines brilliantly where love is lacking.
Let’s ask God to empower us to be like-minded with Christ and have the same love as Christ esteeming others better than ourselves.
If you struggle in this area, check out my past blog, God Calls Us To Love Without Hypocrisy. There you will find a guide to help you evaluate yourself, your love, and eliminate hypocrisy. Another help in this area is to meditate on and pray over what the Bible tells us about loving others. Click here to see 20 Bible Verses About Loving Others.
