Tamar’s Story Is One Of Pain, Rejection, And Heartbreak That Lasted A Lifetime

Tamar faced pain, rejection, and heartbreak. 

Tamar was a beautiful young girl with a world of opportunities in front of her. Her half-brother obsessed over her and a committed violent crime against her that had devastating effects. Her half-brother was in love with her, until the moment his sin against her ended. Then he hated and rejected her. 

This story breaks my heart because not only was she violated by her half-brother, Amnon, her father, King David, covered it up and never punished Amnon for his sin against her. This one horrible incident damaged the entire family. Her brother, Absalom sided with Tamar against his father, David and his half-brother, Amnon. Years later Absalom murdered Amnon. 

Click here to read the entirety of Tamar’s story in 2 Samuel 13. 

Tamar’s story is a story of tragedy and pain that lasted her entire life. This princess lived a desolate life for the rest of her life as we see in 2 Samuel 13:20. 

And Absalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you?

 But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart." So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.

2 Samuel 13:20

The affect heartbreak had on Tamar’s life is a tragedy. While heartbreak causes extreme suffering in some cases, I don’t think it should ever last a lifetime. God intended for us to go through the suffering, to get past the suffering, and live a full life in spite of life’s heartbreaks.

Heartbreak Has An End

We can’t avoid pain and suffering in this world. It is a part of life. However, God’s word tells us: 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy

 to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Romans 18:8

There is coming a day when: 

He will swallow up death forever, 

And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; 

The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; 

For the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 25:8

One day our present suffering will be completely wiped away and replaced with God’s glory, presence, and perfection. Let the truth of that implant a seed of hope, strength and encouragement in your heart! 

If you are in the midst of heartbreak, you need a word of hope, strength, and encouragement for your present day suffering. Here it is. Every Heartbreak Can Be Healed. 

However, we cannot short change the process. There are stages of the suffering that have to be walked through to get to a place of true healing. There must be a season of grief and mourning. We can’t heal without it. But we also can’t stay there. 

When I spoke with my professional counselor daughter, Taylor about this, she said, 

“How much of our life are we willing to let the enemy steal from us because we can’t or don’t choose to overcome?” 

We were meant to grieve and mourn. Then hand over all of the pain, frustration, and anger to God. We cannot heal ourselves. We cannot make ourselves not be a victim. God does that. We just have to be willing to allow him to do the work. 

I so agree with Taylor. It is so sad to think that Tamar let a lifetime pass, damaged and suffering because she had been a victim of sexual assault, rejection, and deep heartbreak. 

The Bible give us many examples of those who experienced heartbreak, went through a season of grief and mourning, yet still chose to walk with God to a brighter future.

Think about Job. He lost everything, but even in the deepest state of suffering, he clung to God and trusted Him. Job’s future was more blessed than before his heartbreak. 

And the Lord restored Job's losses when he prayed for his friends.

Indeed the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.

Job 42:10

Think about Naomi in the book of Ruth. She faced famine. She lost her husband and two sons to death. She grieved deeply for a season. But Naomi chose to look to the blessing of God and hope for a brighter day. 

Then the women said to Naomi, 

"Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; 

and may his name be famous in Israel! 

And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; 

for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, 

who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him." 

Ruth 4:14-15

I don’t know what your pain and heartbreak looks like, but I do know that God is good. He is in control of life even when it seems He isn’t. He loves you and has a great future planned for you. If you experienced heartbreak based on victimization as did Tamar, I want to share what my daughter, Taylor, the counselor says are beneficial steps to begin releasing the heartbreak and the victim mentality.

5 Beneficial Steps To Begin Releasing The Heartbreak and The Victim Mentality:  

1)    Pray, Pray, Pray, and keep praying. 

·      You will not be able to heal on your own. It is a supernatural ability given to you by God through constant submission to Him. 

2)    Believe you are an overcomer. 

·      Releasing the heartbreak and victim mentality begins with what we say. So we want to use language that reinforces the overcomer in us. For example, instead of “I can’t” say “I can with God”. Your language, both internally and externally, has a huge impact on your beliefs about yourself. 

3)    Surround yourself with people who support you and don’t allow you to hold on to those old feelings. 

·      You need people who are willing to say what you don’t want to hear because they want what is best for you.

4)    Be open about your story. 

·      This might take time, but telling your story has the opportunity to be very healing. It allows your story to be about you overcoming not you being victimized. 

5)    Write a letter to the person who hurt you.

·      This letter should not be given to the person who hurt you. This letter is for you. Once you are at a place of being able to forgive and move forward, burn the letter as a demonstration of proof that you have released a victim mentality and embraced an overcomer’s mindset.

While Taylor says this is not an all-inclusive list in how to release the victimization and a victim mentality, I say this is a great starting point. For those who identified with Tamar’s story or have been victimized in other ways, I pray you will find healing as you begin trading the victim mentality for being an overcomer in Christ. 

Finally, if your pain and heartbreak has left you needing hope, go to my FREE BIBLE RESOURCES and download 25 Psalms Of Hope To Meditate On And Pray Over. 

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