What Do You Want To Be A Victim Or Victor?
Victim To Victor: Overcoming Deep Wounds
Every person experiences being a victim of something at some point in life. When I was six years old, I was the victim of a dog attack. When I was twelve years old, my family was burglarized while on vacation. These situations were fairly easy to overcome.
However, at thirteen years old, I was the victim of a sexual assault that affected me much deeper. Instantly I identified myself as dirty, guilty, and shameful. Identifying myself as a damaged, unclean victim led me to make bad, and even dangerous decisions.
The devil spoke lies to my broken innocence and damaged identity. I heard his whispers.
You deserved this.
The only reason this happened to you is that you are a very bad person.
This is all your fault.
Emotionally and spiritually, I wasn’t strong enough to stand against the enemy’s lies. Therefore, the damage done to me as a victim of sexual assault framed the next two decades of my life.
Maybe it doesn’t sound so bad to walk away from a sexual assault with no major injuries other than a feeling and identity of dirty, guilty, and shameful. But someone who has been a victim of sexual assault knows the damage and pain of that kind of life-altering event. My mindset and decisions reflected the damage.
Being a Victim Left Me Wounded
When we identify ourselves as a victim, we live wounded and no human can fix us. Now, I realize my sexual assault said much more about my attacker than me. I was not attacked because I was a bad person nor did I deserve it. I did not bring it on myself. The truth is, in this world we will be victims of something.
Jesus said,
In the world you will have tribulation;
but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
John 16:33b
I am not minimizing any of our victimizations, just recognizing that every person who lives very long will be harmed or injured in some way. The most important thing about our situations that identified us as victims, is how we respond. Our response in mindset and actions determines whether we will live the rest of our lives as a victim or a victor.
What makes one victim overcome their situation and another be overcome by their situation?
Victims either succumb to the damaging effects of the offense against them or they make a choice to rise up and walk through a journey of overcoming. The reality is that everyone needs a season to process the impact of victimization. How long our process will be dependent on our degree of violation, pain, suffering, and how deep the emotional distress.
I was upset for a few days over the dog attack and our family being burglarized and moved on. I was badly broken for at least a year over the sexual assault. Then I tried to move on, but I still carried deep emotional scars that I hoped I could push down and ignore. But, just so you know, ignoring deep wounds never works and never positions us to overcome.
If we have any desire to overcome the pain of our past, at some point we have to face it and work through it.
Facing Those Deep Invisible Wounds And Moving Past Being A Victim
What are we going to do with the brokenness inside? A pill cannot heal the wounds to our person. Men, a man, or money cannot fix us. There is only one thing that can heal deep inner brokenness. His name is JESUS.
Now, while I fully believe that Jesus is the answer, I also believe that we may need godly counselors to help us through the healing process.
Since victims experienced some degree of violation at some point, they commonly hold on to resentment and unforgiveness which often causes a desire to make the one who hurt them pay. At the very least, we long for an avenger.
Romans 12:19 says,
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath,
for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
The Lord wants to be our avenger, but we must choose to allow Him that role. If you are struggling with forgiving someone who victimized you, this past blog may be very beneficial to you, How To Forgive and Move Forward Into Our Future .
If we believe that what happened to us was because we were bad or deserving, remember that Jesus said,
"Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God."
Matthew 19:17a
Jesus was God which meant He was good; yet Jesus was a victim.
Yes, a victim for our sake, but death did not keep Him down. He was resurrected. He is the resurrection and the life. (John 11:25) He lives in us. His Spirit equips us to be victorious over victimization.
And what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 1:19-20
Moving Forward
There comes a day when we have been through the initial injury and realize we must move forward. Are we going to move forward healed spiritually and emotionally? Or are we going to move forward with a spiritual and emotional limp?
For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.
And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith.
Who is he who overcomes the world,
but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
1 John 5:4-5
God intended us to overcome the victimizations of this world. Looking back at my own life, I realize that I wasted too much time limping around damaged and defeated after the sexual assault. Two decades is too long to allow painful, traumatic events to identify us. Deep inner healing is available if we look to the right source, the true source of healing, Jesus.
I don’t know what you faced, but Jesus does. Turn to Jesus and allow Him to do a deep inner work of healing. If you need counseling to help you work through it, there are so many amazing Christian counseling resources available to us today. Don’t waste time with a spiritual emotional limp. Be the overcomer.
Remember that healing and overcoming is a process. But a process must begin somewhere. If you haven’t begun the process of true healing and restoration, today is the day to begin.
Here is a prayer for you to use everyday in your faith journey to wholeness.
Dear Heavenly Daddy,
You know every detail that I have faced throughout my life. You know where I am the most damaged and why. I need Your healing touch. Help me to know the truth of who I am in Your eyes. Help me overcome being a victim. Tenderly and lovingly bring the damage to the surface and heal my inner brokenness. I know You love me and You are able to transform me into the overcomer You want me to be. I desperately want to overcome being a victim. Help me to walk in Your ordained path that I may shed the old identity of victim and experience the new identity of Victor, in Jesus name, Amen.
Read John 16 for encouragement from God’s Word in troubling times.
